Friday, December 18, 2009

My epic adventure to the grocery store.


The time is 3.30PM, Thursday, December 17th 2009. I set out to go to the store to get 3 items, three. I return from the store at approximatively 7.30PM. Four hours, just to take a quick trip to the store. This is the story of my epic adventure on that day.

December 17th 2009 will be forever remembered here in Belgium as Snow Day. Around 2PM snow started falling from the sky, bringing a smile to most people's faces and a sneer to some, I'm sure. Intending to go to the store, I initially decide to wait for the snow to stop, as it looks freezing cold outside my window. After a while it's becoming apparent that the snow isn't letting up. No matter, as meanwhile I've had a change of heart. I now wánt to go out into the snow, as the ground is decked in white and I'm eager to step into that frozen goodness. don't you just love that sound? I do..

Packing myself in the best I can, I set out into the ever increasing snowfall. Strangely enough, I decide to not take my MP3 player with me on this rare occasion. I figure, going to the store real quick and back, my cellphone and some earphones should do the trick. Luckily I'll found later that it did do the trick, but it wasn't easy.
The first step outside my building is a confrontation with the harsh reality of Mother Nature and perhaps even global w
arming, for those of you who'd like to believe it's effects. 1) It's skin-crackling cold out and that right of the bat! 2) I seem to have made an error of judgement, looking out my window. the snow is already ominously packed and my white shoes disappear with every step I take. I have combat boots for this occasion, but again, I figured I'd pop in and out, no biggie. I'm starting to realise that was a rather idiotic statement I will come to regret. also, in the same fashionable nightmare, I refuse to tie my shoes shut, so snow enters my shoes at every pace. Too late to retract anyway, might as well look nonchalant!

I've recently rediscovered my cellphone having a camera and mp3 player; actually the entire reason I bought it. This proves we blindly buy useless consumer products just to own them. Yours truly isn't an exception to that rule..unfortunately. However, with this discovery, I've recently participated in an experiment to view the changing of people's appearance after a lengthy game session, which I catalogued with pictures and a video log, using said consumer product! In your face capitalism!
In the aftermath of this reportage, I thought it would be cool, literally and metaphorically, to take some pictures of the landscapes I would see on my quick trip.
This would be the photo I took when I realised such.
It's worth mentioning that the fellow in the picture was very eager to get home. He was running in the slippery snow.
You might not notice, but at the time, the falling snow was nothing short of a blizzard. Normally I take my glasses with me if I'm going to be out late, to counter my
nyctalopia, but by now you've guessed my entire adventure is going to be filled with taking the opposite of a sensible decision. I decided that my glasses would get snowed up every 2 seconds and wouldn't be worth bringing. Countless snowflakes in the eyes later, I've contemplated that decision.

As I come closer towards the bus stop, I notice the oddest thing: There's actually still a lot of people going for a jog in the pouring snow. Madness I say. One slip and you have a nice ski injury without any of the bragging rights. Along my trip, I'll notice the opposite of this; people walking like it's summertime. Here's some advice
: When venturing out into the snow, there's no need to go at a snail pace, you can go as fast as you want, but please, for everyone's safety, take calm and foremost calculated steps! Also, while putting out your arms for balance might not be the coolest thing to do, it'll keep you upright.
During my entire adventure, I'll see numerous people slipping, sliding and hitting the deck.I even caught a glimpse of one on my camera-phone!


If there's one thing snow can do, it's instantly create a marvellous scene!
That's why I knew I had to take a picture of this street leading to the bus stop. Even with my crappy, little lens it would seem fairly nice. You can imagine it looked a lot better in reality still! Trees and snow are always a nice combo apparently.
and although snow was pouring down on me, I somehow managed to keep my spirits up and even grin a little at the splendor that is this natural phenomenon.
But enough about all that nonsense, I'll skip to me actually being at the bus stop.
Once there, I noticed myself turning into a snow man. From the approx. 400m walk I have to do, I managed to get completely covered in snow; turning my completely black outfit a bright white.
I decided it'd be best to keep waiting for the bus under an awning near the stop. This wasn't as easy at it seems, as standing still makes you freeze. So, sporting some cool tunes on my cellphone, I decide to dance, ever so slightly, to some Streetlight Manifesto
. We wouldn't want to make an even bigger as of oneself, foolishly prancing around as a giant snowman.
But hopping around seemed to take a bit longer then I had intended, as snowfall blocked the roadways and I had now seen over 10 buses passing by, but not the one I need to take to the shop. No worries however, a bus to the shop comes round every 15 minutes, so even with delays, I should have a bus shortly.
Delusions of the mind, it seems, as all busses were driving except the 3 I need. They were magically able to pass on the other side of the road, but not on my side.

To relieve some boredom, I decided to take another picture, much to the dislike of the 2 young ladies holding the bike. I probably looked like some sort of stalker. As an act of courtesy, I tried to keep them out the picture the best I could.

This car obviously also misjudged the snow and didn't have time to properly scrape the wind shield. Imagine driving like that. Add the slippery roads and you've got a recepy for disaster. Don't you think that's dangerous? I heard from my girlfriend that there were 2 accidents where she lived, one right after the other. Must've been a crazy day for emergency services.



Being already half an hour past the mark of my bus schedule, I figured
it wouldn't be long until any bus would show up. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity of getting on the bus by being undetected under the awning. And thus I ventured into the cold snow out front. For 30 more flipping minutes until I could get a bus going even remotely in the direction I was headed. not one of the buses I should take, but another one, passing in the vicinity. One hour I've waited, in the freezing cold, for that! And to make matters worse, I'm stuck standing up in the bus, stuffed in a corner.
At this point, I'm thinking that I'm in a fairly crappy situation, yes, but just look outside, how awesome does everything look!? And it's just until the train station anyway, most people get off there. Me and my giant bag, and posture for that matter, will be sitting down peacefully within minutes.
Yes, of course that didn't happen. To my dismay even more people got on the bus at the station, whilst almost none exited. Now not only was I stuck in a corner, I was now also getting stuffed by some boorish oaf's trolley, as he needed room for his infant, which turned out to be a barbecue set. I'm trying really hard not to swear as this was really an ill-mannered brute. I could understand your trolley needing room if it actually contains some of your bastard spawn, but that was just plain rude. And to top it off, he leaves his cart unattended and expects the lady next to it to look out for it, as she also has a trolley with infant. And to my surprise, she does! She attends for the barbecue child, as if it were her own baby appliance. Dumbstruck, right there!
Here is where my mood switched from regular, bearing it all, to frustrated at least. From now on, all that will blare through my headphones will be hardcore music or a derivative.
Icing this already fairly cold cake, the bus now also can't seem to go faster than a few kilometres an hour. numerous reasons. One, we're heavily in overcapacity, stocking every person afraid of a little cold and frozen rain. Secondly, by now it's rush hour and the streets are filled with cars and such. Would you go out on your bike in this weather? Apparently, neither does the entire human race at that very moment. And last reason would be that the snow made the roads into an icy death trap and salt trucks have not had the time to move out yet. Even if they did, in this rush hour traffic, they'd show up hours after we've passed. Oh, irony.
I can not properly describe the horrific nightmare it was riding said bus to my stop, but references to the Holocaust come to mind. At some point, so many actually kept getting on, that some elderly persons armpit was an inch or so away from my face for about 20 minutes. I couldn't watch my cellphone screen to change the songs because I couldn't move my arm up, there was a lady's arm there who threw me dagger eyes because I bumped her when I tried. Foolish me to disturb you invading my personal space. Luckily I was getting help from the likes Figure Four and Outbreak to sublimate my frustrations into music.
At some point my girlfriend sent me a text, disrupting my music on my cellphone. On a critical point during the song "At the gates of demise" from Maroon, nonetheless. Trying to text her back, without moving my arm, I noticed horrified that I had missed my stop to the stores. One hour in the bus and now I miss my stop!? It's like fate was mocking me, blatantly! I asked my girlfriend to stop sending texts for a while, until I got off the horror express. Right after that, my music kicked back in, issuing the break in the song at the gates of demise; classic! Luckily, the stop right after the one I was panicking about, was actually where the store was I needed to be. I noticeably started to prepare myself to get off, so people around me could see that I needed the room to pass. The woman right next to me did the same and we got to the conclusion we both were going the same way. She didn't like my passive aggressive remarks regarding the bus ride, but who cares? I'm never seeing her again. She can slip and die after I get off for all I care, I'm almost free!

Time for another picture as the snow was now falling in full blizzard form. Notice how it was clear day when I got on the bus and it now was pitch black when I got off.
I lifted my head to see that the shopping center where I stood, was virtually deserted. Normally it's always bustling with hundreds of people and cars and now there were about 10 cars on the entire area! It was mind boggling how empty and white everything looked. Apart from my foot tracks, almost none were made and all looked an even white. It was a little humbling and rather beautiful. I wanted to catalogue this fact, but it was coming down so hard I couldn't hold my camera up long enough without it being covered in snow.
It was time to rush to the store to see if they still had my items.
I actually went to a store of the same franchise yesterday without snow or anything to go buy these 3 nice items, only to find out the store being cleared out. I loathe that store so much and intend to never see it again. More so, I will be encouraging all my friends to avoid it as if it had contagious cancer. That's the entire reason for my "quick trip".
Coming across the parking lot, where all is white and the stop bumps have been hidden to kill your toes in a guerilla strike, I noticed there was 1 car on the entire lot. ONE.
I entered the store to find it empty. And I mean empty, because not only were there no customers, there weren't even any employees present! It was a gangsta's paradise, pardon the reference.
I rushed to the items aisle where I needed to be and there I saw the first good thing about this entire trip: No customers mean no sales whatsoever. All my items were there available in bulk. I felt like any moment now, the skies would open up and rain cheese!
I quickly grasped all the items I was questing so long for and hastily made my way to the register, where a woman had to come from the back and install herself there. She looked awfully bored of wandering an empty store all day, so we had a small chat as to why it's so deserted. I told her of my travel of 2 hours from the city and she stood in awe. She must've realised I would be her only customer that day.
It reminded me so much to Homer's adventure to the world's first convenience store, which was located at the top of a mountain. To which he replies: "Well, this isn't very convenient, is it?"

I left the store and decided to do a side-quest on my now fairly adventurous journey. In for a penny, in for a pound. There was another shop close by that had another item I wanted and continuing my logic of earlier, I figured they would have no customers today. Now only to get there.
everything was an even white and somehow somewhere I had to take a right into a road. Only I had no vision of where that road was, nor where I was heading. I decided to trial and error it all and stepped randomly into right directions. My feet at this point got well covered in snow with every step I took. Most paces I ended up to my ankles in snow, with open shoes. Looking cool for a deserted area, now that's bad ass!
After a few trips, a few slides and a daring climb onto a hill, I reached the lot where the store would be and after even more neck braking antics, I reached the store itself.
However, my theory, correct as it may be, didn't factor in the laziness of humans. There was indeed not a soul in sight, but given that, the bored clerk hadn't bothered doing anything. I asked him where I could find the item, to which he shrugged. While I was going on those wonderful directions, another clerk saw his opportunity to do his first actual work of the day and ran through the store for about 15 minutes in search of said goods. However, he forgot to mention beforehand that due to lack of people, they hadn't stocked the store or even bothered to call in an order.
It looked like that would be a quest I would have to fulfil another day. Even though I really wanted to buy that thing, I wasn't to disappointed at failing to acquire it. A great hook for a sequel adventure was just born!

It was now a little after 6PM and it was time for this adventurer to return to the nest and unveil our goods. Standing at the regular bus stop, the bus was scheduled to arrive any minute. I thought ahead and figured it would be too late as earlier cars were going as fast as me and one almost slipped on my feet when it swerved away trying to move from the green light.
I made my way to a nearby bus stop where this bus could stop, but also another one if needed be. It was the bus stop I originally intended to get to when I first started my journey.
Meanwhile keeping in mind that the bus could come from behind and pass me on the way there. To remedy this problem, I decided to step off the path that wasn't actually a path, but some sort of death trap and I ventured onto the road. Seriously, I never noticed, but that road was a sure way to disaster. Every step I took was in an uneven and very rocky structure, shattering my ankles on every twist.
Blocking the way for eventual cars, I felt safe to get to my stop on time. And on time I was, as there would not be a bus for another half hour or so again. It was time once more to take a picture and return to my old plan of dancing for warmth! We all should be dancing more for warmth, that shivering nonsense just isn't a sight to behold. The lady that was coming towards my bus stop didn't like my dancing skills it seemed, but I didn't care. I was warm and she was freezing. I would've invited her for a dance, but we all remember the stalker look not being positive earlier. I tried to only dance when she wasn't looking. Except if NOFX or someone else made me dance, I mean, I can't just ignore that, not for all the courtesy in the world!

To me and my bus stop companions' delight, another bus was slowly but surely rising from the horizon. we were minutes away from being warm and dry.
Once on the bus, I treated myself to a little surprise. Being proud of myself to hold up such good spirits throughout the entire day, I bought myself some cookies to reward me for all the deeds well done. It's not like I was going to get some experience points for it! Cookies are good, I don't care if you look at me crooked for eating cookies like a child on a bus, they're worth it! Even as I choked on my last cookie, I was filled with to much chocolaty goodness to make a fuss about it. If I were to choke to death, chocolate would be the way to go.
With that done, I realised that soon my adventure would be coming to an end and I had still the fire inside me to go on!

I decided to use my time taking some more pictures and then making as much video footage as I could.

Again, much to the dislike of my female bus companion who had the misfortune of sitting right behind me on the bus. I could clearly see her sneering at me from the window in front of me. That was not going to stop me from making my log of this epic adventure!
As we ventured back into the bustling city, shots were becoming too crowded with cars and other non-photogenic things to still take any log of my activity. Once we arrived back into the station, the bus filled back to inhuman capacity and I was once again trapped.
Therefore I was going to get off early and leave that hell hole for 2 reasons. One, I wanted to be able to breath and two, the historic city looked awesome right about now, I could go take some more snapshots!

Getting off proved a huge challenge as I was in another corner than where the door was and my items made me even more plump than when I set off. But I got up all my courage, lifted my items above my head, discarded all the dirty looks I got and hopped off the bus.
After some practical readjustments to the cold I ventured onwards to take some final pictures.

Unfortunately my cellphone had bravely given up the fight for any battery power to my camera a long time ago on the bus and the pictures I took were all out of focus and overall shoddy.
It was time for me to go home and rest from my weary quest. But not before trying to capture some final footage! In my last straight line home, what would've been a perfect ending to my log, I was cut off by a girl asking for directions. And thus she ended what could've been an awesome video ending with directions to a random house in the city. As if anyone would know where said residence would be. I tried to help her the best I can as I was almost home and could smell the nice Viennese blend coffee from there! How ever eager I was to roast myself into my newly acquired blanket, I stood there and explained her for a few minutes as to where her house might be, but ever flustered she left to go on her quest and I finished mine promptly by rushing home before any other mishaps!


After I jumped up and down for a few minutes trying to cast off my white armour of snow, I set my shoes and all my bags outside my door and stepped inside to put on the stove, put on some coffee and ease my way into the evening.
Looking at the clock it was now just about 7.30PM.

My quick trip had lasted 4 hours and would've been as full of tales and adventure as a story could hold. I was strangely content and that was nothing short of a miracle.
If the landscape wasn't so idyllic and my cellphone wouldn't have lasted out with numerous great artists and songs to aid me as my bard, I would've been in an entirely different situation. But for now, I was at peace.
Thank you, Mother Nature and also Verse, Hatebreed, Remembering Never, Himsa, FFTL, Black My Heart, Dead Stop, ATEWB, Ringworm, No-Ca$h and so, so much more!