Beware all ye who enter! These be the tales of a highly unraveled and incoherent mind, spewing from it's depth the most mind boggling and brain numbing thought fragments ever placed together. Like a puzzle all made from pieces of different pictures, it will be incomprehensible and haunting to perceive, read and understand.
To those of you true to the test, I applaud you.
Holy bottomless stomach, Batman! I've been eating so much crap the last 2 days and I'm STILL hungry! Really, you wouldn't believe what I all ate; it's maddening. But on to business:
Recently, I got into an argument about HD re-releases now also getting done in games. Now, I'm not a huge fan of it in movies either, but trying to resell the same game twice took it a little too far for me. Apparently, I also extremely butthurt a wave of fanboys, because from my valid points on, the argument deteriorated in attacking my person and nothing else. So, it wasn't really an argument, as I was the only one trying to divert the assaulting monologues 5 to 6 people were blasting upon me. After repeating myself 5 to 6 times and disproving a lot more "arguments", I decided it was best to let the internet be the internet and create an article about my opinion. Since I had to make myself crystal flippidy clear on every word said in the argument, I had to create an article of equal clarity. Therefore, it became the shocking discourse you will see posted below. It was even so long, I couldn't bring myself to making any more points; so not all subjects were handled. If it means anything: I'm sorry for being so precise. I'll try and make monosyllabic grunts about people's sexual preferences in bad grammar next time, pinky swear. Enjoy. Oh, and it's only the internet: cool the copulation down, ok buddy?
I failed to sleep for 6 days straight now, so enter your own witty opening here for once. If you want me to come up with something smart, I suggest you hook me up to a never-ending caffeine pump or force feed me cocaine.
Anyway, it’s been an odd few days, I suppose. I was going to write about it as it happened, but the same rules of exhaustion apply. So, what you read will be extremely fragmented and incomplete. I even doubt most of it will still be very accurate or even correctly processed by my sleep deprived brain. But here goes:
So, yesterday I received an email stating my super awesome DS games have arrived and I should come pick them up from the store. As I almost died last week (literally), due to exhaustion, I wasn’t really chipper about having to go somewhere, but I did anyway. I was planning on returning to the gym that morning, but I started feeling extremely ill again, so I aborted early, before choking on my own vomit again. If you ever want to spend an afternoon doing something different, may I suggest fainting in a gym toilet stall. But I digress. I got up and tried to find some fitting clothes, without passing out. In one fell swoop, I also added my new favorite song, Under My Feet by None More Black, to my music player and headed out.
It will never cease to amaze me how people can look at you with such disdain, no matter how presentable you look. Yes, it’s the piercings; I know, I’m the one wearing them, not you. I have lost all comprehension as to why people try passing off charity and compassion as the social standard when nothing could be further from the truth. People are brought up to hate others and suppress anyone in a fierce global competition for social status.
I was nearing the store though, when someone crossed my path that I knew recognized me.We’ll get right back on that. First I want to tell you the jolly news that right behind her back; I noticed the store being shut down. It’s always lovely to battle consciousness over effort and having it be for naught upon arrival. Now I’m even fainter and I have no games. But back to the ho...nourable passerby, myes. Apparently, right behind me, she started picking up pace; which I could’ve concluded by her stare being stuck to the floor before she passed me. She looked more and more familiar as we were now both stuck on the same pace leading home. That’s why she chose to cross the street; you know, just in case. But enough about her; my point is, you don’t need to be friendly if you know me. But it’s kind of rude to act like I might rob, rape and kill you in the middle of a busy street in midday. Not that I couldn’t use the money and such; I just don’t like prison all that much.
Giving my middle finger to this day in general, I thought it’d be time for me to be a complete fat pig. So, I passed by the store on my way home and dug in. There I bought an assortment of lovely items. I also decided to catalogue the rare occasion, as it could probably serve as my epitaph later on: “Here lay Daav. He should’ve cut down on the greasy stuff, the fat pig”.
So, after purchasing all these lovely goods, I went home to eat everything all at once. If you’re going to live like a pig, you might as well bear down. Get it? Bear? Yes, I explain my obscure puns; otherwise my subtle genius would be lost on you all. I’m like Kanye West: A mothafuckin lyrical wordsmith, mothafuckin genius, Pardon his French. Maybe he can debate me later about the fact he doesn’t speak French and I shouldn’t start rumors about him. Is any of this getting through? If not, you and I do not share interests; sad.
Several digressions later, I walked home to stumble on more people that recognized and shunned me. At some point people should realize they are awful people, when all their acquaintances shudder in fear when they pass. Someday, I’ll make that realization as well. But I had chips to eat and sorrows to kill by indigestion.
At home, I downloaded some bad tv and start to scarf down, what I’d hope would be an imminent heart attack waiting to happen. It is strange that at these precise times, you’d get interrupted. Not on the 19 hours a day you’re completely isolated from any social contact, oh no! Right at that godforsaken point; that’s when you interrupt people, in the name of social interaction. Here’s a tip: If you were truly social, you’d let me be when I need a minute and come back to me later on, even if you have other friends. It’s called a priority and I apply it well to all my contacts. Perhaps it should be something you need to do as well.
Did I mention I found my first ever fortune cookie that day? Well, I found my first ever fortune cookie that day! At least it’s a little light point at the end of a flame engulfed tunnel. I was expecting it to taste like cardboard though and the fortune to be very snide and sarcastic. On the bringt side, I was only correct on one occasion. The fortune cookie actually tastes yummy, not at all like cardboard. If that were the case, I’d eat cardboard every day! The fortune was a bit more tasteless though. In the sense it stated: “The roots of work might be bitter, but the fruit tastes sweet”.
Yes, a work related fortune is exactly what I need right now. I’ve been summoned to appear in front of the people in charge of my welfare money. And despite my ridiculous amounts of efforts across the years, it’s no surprise I’m still jobless. This will probably not come over well, so I’m fairly screwed on the matter; even with the amounts of evidence I can present. Being depressed for months now, doesn’t help much either. But hey; we should fight and make the most of life and all that stupid bullcrap I don’t agree with. “Awakened to the blood stained face of a world that cannot be changed. Forever reminded of a nightmare that is every passing day.” These words I live by, therefore I have them imprinted in ink on my body.
As I was building up this coronary, I noticed that 300ml of Hot Salsa is actually less than I’d want it to be. And so, halfway through my bag, I was left wanting and my jar empty. Why Hot Salsa? Because I like hot tamale!(10 points for reference) Still determined to kill myself with the power of potato goods, got up once more, now filled with chips energy, and proceeded to saunter down the shop across the street. One overpriced jar of Hot Salsa later, I was back in business; though I fear the exercise of walking might’ve saved my soul.
At long last, I reached the critical point though. With about 20 chips left in the bag, I could not get another bite in, without all the other bites coming back out first. Indigestion had been achieved (Achievement unlocked – 30 points).
To make sure my brain would shut down on itself, I took a look at my right side where there are many a letter stacked, filled with official statements that need my urgent attention. I’m fairly sure some are bound to be overdue, because I can’t remember when these letters weren’t here. There’s a letter from my money-stealing union, my money revoking authority and my useless insurance. Apparently the insurance thing is something of critical importance. In that case, perhaps they should send it in a more important letter. But it doesn’t end here, oh no! You live in a dream world if you think a simple mountain of feces is enough. Feces only come in Himalayan proportions, nothing less.
My landlord has been very evasive about getting down a new contract; probably since he’s selling the house I live in with little warning. I can’t stop him though; it’s his place. But being this is the second time this has happened to me, I can’t say it does much for my general sense of trust and security. I’m not going to have any money in a month though, so I guess that doesn’t really matter, if you look at it that way.
Why do people keep asking me what I will do once that occurs? I have no idea what they expect my response will be, I really don’t. If I don’t have a plan for basic daily routines in life, how do you think my visions of the probable and debatable future are? My hypothesis is, I will wait until my money runs out, which I expect to happen in about a month and a half. After that I will wait to get evicted from this house, if it is still under my contract and still functional. And after that, I suppose curling up and die is the ‘plan’. I wouldn’t know how else the situation can be handled.
There’s a lot I’m not telling you, of course. If it only were this simple, it wouldn’t be much of a conundrum. I might be lowly educated, but that doesn’t render me useless from an intellectual standpoint, just from a technical standpoint. So, let’s try and end this on some random notions:
I started a DailyBooth recently and have enjoyed acting like a tool on it. What else is there to do with my life than acting like a tool? It’s not like I’m useful for anything else. But in general, I’ve talked to a lot of people lately; none of them seeming to share a lot of interests with me. But I guess some attention is better than none; be it ever so slight.
I also finished all my fatty foods today and was still hungry when all was finished. I didn’t get up once more though, as I stated earlier I’m exhausted. I wonder if this has something to do with the near death experience thingie?
Anyways, we’ll conclude here. It’s been a while since a personal post, so consider this way overdue. There will be less personal blogs to follow later, if I can get one project to start. If so, expect more news here. But you can also follow me on a whole rayon of social media to stay updated. Here is everything you need to know:
There’s more, but they’re not even worth mentioning. But if you have any sites you’d like to know I’m a part of, feel free to ask on any active account.
I just got banned on Gamespot for defending gay rights. That has given me some spare time to post other things on other sites, so I thought I'd post something here again. This is the editorial I worked all night on yesterday, just prior to getting booted. Good thing I put all that effort in to create it.
Guess that'll teach me to be an honest,exemplary citizen...
Dear Sid Meier, And for that matter, everyone over at Firaxis. I can hardly describe in words the anticipation I have for your new installment(s?) of Civilization you are promising us this fall. In fact, it is so big, I'm prepared to finally get rid of my tyrannosaurus computerex and save my ass off for a new one. Crysis, BioShock and other flaunters of insane flash be damned, I'll upgrade my rig for a static strategy game with little to no razzle dazzle. There's just no way I'd want to miss out on a new Civilization. How is that for irony?
Your keynote address about Civilization and games in general only fueled this anticipating fire. It is clear that there is not only a lot of technical thought in your games, but also psychological consideration. Not afraid by modern standards, you successfully debate the fact that you can leave out certain elements in a game, to make room for others. As you said, the human imagination is a powerful tool and it's good to see that it's being put to good use. It reminds me of days where everything was a square and the only indication of what that square was, rested in the game title. I am a strong follower of this concept and believe that it will give a lot more room to create an even bigger epic than the fourth installment. Hopefully developers were paying attention and we can see a trend of details being cut away to accommodate gameplay value. Don't get me wrong; Civilization V will still hold its own graphically, as I've seen from various short videos and cutscenes. It just won't add flash where not needed and that's a good thing; a very good thing. I like more game and less movie, to put in short.
You might want to grab some coffee, it's going to be a long thing.
The past few months that I've heard of this glorious news, I also have been hearing about numerous rumors, as these things always go. In this letter to you, I'd like to discuss with you these rumors and clear up my opinion of them as an avid fan, but also avid gamer and consumer in general.
We already know you'll be revolutionizing your world with hexagon tiles. No, not revolutionizing the strategy world, these tiles have existed since Master Of Monsters. I am still very interested in seeing how this will affect the known world of Civilization though! So many things will need to be rethought and tactics redone. Change is scary, but we'll have to bear through it, for the best.
Add to this the other changes you'll be making in combat, with only 1 unit per hex and units consisting of actual troops. It will make for an entirely new game. Yes, I know how that sounds, of course it's a new game; but I mean for a new game in its entirety, not just a new Civilization game. You could call it Sim Society or Humanity Tycoon! Just kidding, that sounds awful. Nonetheless, CIV V will not be Advanced CIV IV and that's a good trend to follow, as CIV IV also felt radically different than its first 3 brethren. I'm not sure if all these changes will be to my liking, I just hope they will inspire me like everything you put into Civilization IV.
And here is where the real chatter begins, sirs. My ears have heard you'll be making changes to some aspects of CIV IV I loved so much. Well, I liked 100% of the game, so that's not hard. I'm just saying that it's perhaps not necessary to take out the hatchet to some concepts. Please, let us bury it for now.
For instance, I heard that random events will not return. I hope this especially isn't true, because I waited 4 installments for this to happen. There is nothing more refreshing than completely random events. It keeps you on your toes and keeps a game new and interesting. Just like Mother Nature herself, most things are out of our hands and that is a good thing. Don't listen to purist that demand 100% control over everything they do. If that was the case, this world wouldn't have Brussels sprouts. You can't control an eruption cancelling all flights to Europe. You can't control an earthquake destroying your tropical paradise. But that is the essence of life. And it's not like all events are bad. We discover new and amazing things every day. Things that improve life through medicine, new ways to provide food, cleaner power sources; all these things also create the life we live. If games have taught me one thing, it's that random events are the single, best implementation of games.
A perfect example of a good and a bad event. *click to enlarge*
There is nothing better than having a completely random game, as it will give you a new and unique game each and every time. It is like buying a new game every time you play it. It's because of this, that my top 3 games I sunk the most time in are Diablo II and your own Pirates and Civilization. In Diablo, it was the rush of finding new items and clearing new dungeons each time that made you come back time and time again. In Civilization, playing a different game each time, created a new world with different outcomes, different leaders and different situation. It's like starting a new life.
But the most fun was playing Pirates on Commodore 64. We go a long way back, to the days of Microprose, sirs. In those days, it gave you such an amazing sense of freedom, you kept coming back every day. Encountering random ships and slaying them was so fun, you would just roam the seas and forget about the rest. Heading into ports, not knowing what might happen and the conquest to becoming the best you could be, made this game one of my all-time favorites. It was so good that our Commodore was the center piece of our living room and it would turn night and day in rotation between me, my brother and even my mother. That's right, even my mother was completely addicted to it, perhaps even more than us.
Sailing the simple seas.
If all these arguments have not convinced you to keep random events alive, I have no idea what will. Though I'm sure I can debate even more on the fact. But as I'm not a paid employee at Firaxis, this is all I can do without access to board meetings and developer feedback. I'm not saying they are perfect and do not need fine-tuning, because they most certainly do. They ruined multiplayer games at the drop of a hat, placing players out of sync and the community might frown on some events obliterating their success rate. But even when it ruined my multiplayer games with my brother, we persevered time and time again, for the love of these same events. So, put them under the microscope, sure, but don't leave them out altogether. Quests especially, as they were the best element added to the game. You could downsize others, but don't take away the small RPG element you threw in there for us. I bet I'm not the only one that felt like a kid receiving a Nintendo 64 at Christmas when such a quest first popped on my screen.
I'm glad we got that out of the way. Perhaps it is time for a small break? No, let us press on to one more rumor. It might not be as important, but I feel it needs saying.
Religion and culture were a new addition to Civilization IV and I've read official reports that religion will not return. Why is that? You must've extensively put time into placing it into the game, so it must've been good. It doesn't seem like you'd be the type of people to add something last minute to a game. Is there something that went wrong in lobbies or politically? Perhaps it hit some weird taboos, as religion has always been a very delicate topic. But if any religion has also taught us 1 thing and 1 thing alone, it's that it inspires people to be good. So don't listen to fanatics, I liked them better as generic characters in Civilization II's fundamentalist times anyway. They should bear an open mind to people advertising faith and humbly accept any differences they might have. Isn't that what their respective prophets say? It's the reason I hold an agnostic belief, instead of an atheist one. Because I believe that teaching others to be decent human beings is something that should be welcomed.
Compassion, moderation, and humility.
I, for one, enjoyed this addition. It might not have been my favorite, but it did add a new way to play. And this is my main concern upon taking it away now. You've finally taken in account this aspect of a society, so we can play this way and now you'd take it back? Please do not throw it away as of yet. Let us bury it with the previous concept and build on the additions, instead of discarding them. It would seem such a waste of labor and effort to do so. You can research what people disliked about it and finetune it from there, but I saw no flaws in it. It's not like it was a groundbreaking way to play, like winning through culture. Although it aided in that resolution, I never felt it overpowered anything or anyone. My brother and I both went out of our way to create our respective societies under our religious banner, not because of the meager benefits, but because of the added realism to it. You'd start out as a given religion and throughout time, if your civilization would allow it, you'd take in other beliefs to strengthen your community and culture. It sounds like real life, doesn't it? Good thing it's not; I wouldn't enjoy Mongolians tearing down my city walls, in their conquest for glory in the 21st century.
Let's hope you don't take away any of the game experiences you've added previous time, because I fear it will shrink gameplay value. This way Civilization IV will be better than V, simply because it has more aspects to offer. Sure, there's room for different additions, but even that will just feel like a replacement, more than an additions. So, I advise to build upon the given choices from the previous installment, instead of altering some. Because the new aspects you've already given out now on top of the old facets would already suffice to make Civilization V a better game. But I'm sure you're much better than that and have even more in store for us. Lucky us, gamers, that we get spoiled with such masterful game designing, surpassing any other.
In this same line, I can only imagine the broadened appreciation you'll get once Civilization comes to Facebook. No doubt, this will topple Farmville of its unrightful pedestal in no time. Facebook has a good reputation of offering addicting and time consuming games. So I'm sure that offering an actual good game will blow the masses minds and set forth an entire new era of Facebook games. Perhaps it will even alter browser and social network games altogether. I can only think of the vast opportunities that can be exploited in this massive game. It will be like a real social network. Wait, we already have that. It will be like an actual Civilization come to life! The interaction and social possibilities are endless in my mind and I'm sure it will turn out for the best. If ever I could be a beta gamer, it would be for that very game. My social studies, accompanied with my favorite game; it would be like heaven.
Mafia Wars better plan a hostile takeover
On this note of flattery, I shall leave you to your business, for I know you have busy days ahead. I hope I will have persuaded you all, over at Firaxis, to reopen some cases and perhaps salvage old ideas that were put on the table. It's all a huge drawing board and you have to clear it sometimes, but it's always better to hoard something than to discard it and regret it later. Now I'll let you get back to it, that masterful drawing board. Creating an entire Civilization is hard work.
My inspiration has left me entirely I'm afraid. My disposition is partially to blame for this. The lust for life has already long parted with my body, but it recently has less vigor than ever. I've seen carnivorous plants with more swagger than your truly. Also, the times I've been doing nothing, have been shared with playing Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. Let this be a lesson to you all: If you want a game and it looks interesting and reviews concur with that, buy it! Don't wait. This game is one of the most magical experiences I have ever had the chance to immerse myself in. To be completely fair, it has been the fine line between me engaging in random, drunken fisticuffs and vague sanity. Yes, that also has been fleeting of late. In fact, my original idea, while at rock bottom, was to write down this experience of delusion. I withdrew at the last minute, however, as it would come off sordidly morbid and even borderline psychopathic. Perhaps one day, ey guv'ner?
No, to end my tales, I leave you with an even greater anticlimax. In fact, this won't be a blog post at all. Instead, I leave you with a shameless copy paste, to emphasize my legacy of pure futility. Of course, I have a reason for that, though it might be one only I can understand.
Today, something rather unexpected happened. Normally, I put a lot, even too much, effort in writing these long and droning blogs about nothing. But on March 11, I did not have that time and had to fill my schedule with something. Being too worn down by existence to play aforementioned game, I set out to do something else. It will be the experience you will be reading about and added to this, the writing of the blog itself. Quickly flash forwarding to today, comes the logic for my choice to end this way: I've been mentioned by Gamespot for my outstanding blog. Therefore, I will share it with you, as I concluded that if it's good enough for a vast community of equal minded gamers, it should be good enough to end on, for all to read. Many thanks to Gamespot for their mention of me, you can find the link to it HERE! Enoy this shameless plagiary of my own works and I hope you've enjoyed reading this.
My 15 minutes of internet fame. Time to bask in my self-satisfaction.
DIY Gaming repair; a lost art?
In an effort to repair my broken games, I fixed my Gameboy Color cartridge of Pokémon Silver today. The idea came from having to look up two things about broken Nintendo DS parts in 2 days. Being rather upset I had 2 malfunctioning units, I decided to see if I could fix them myself. sending them over to Nintendo costs a lot and for that money, I might as well buy a new console. The first problem was a broken L-button and got fixed, easier than I thought, with this effort. On a sidenote, I'm glad the topicstarter got helped in the end and people came together in joy of repaired console glory! The second problem however, was 2 broken hinges and can only be fixed by replacing the shell. A process to complicated for me to pull off and thus I still have one broken DS, for which I mourn. It made me feel a bit bad, I couldn't repair it, so I tried to redeem myself with something else. I have a cartridge here, from which I suspected the battery to be dead. As most games I own are extremely old, that was my guess as a tech-noob. After only very short research, I proved those suspicions and noticed how 'easy' it was to repair. A quick, complete fix could be done with a screwdriver and some tape. And although I have no tech skills and therefore also no screwdriver, I made due. Armed solely with a nailclipper, no less! It made me flashback the days of old, when I applied more ghetto knowledge to save a few bucks.
Your ghetto fix in practice
You see, back in the day, I used to game even more and so did my mother and my brother, all on the same console. Add that all up and you'll get some serious abuse towards your system. We must have gone through, at least, a dozen SNES controllers and 6 to 10 Atari joysticks that way. Press the buttons in frustration enough times and then BAM! Another controller bites the dust. In those days, technology wasn't as complicated and you could weld most controllers back into a working shape, for a good while. Our mom taught us how to weld (imagine that!) and that way we saved hundreds of euros. Since we had only our allowance to go by, that really helped. Don't forget, your budget was as limited as it got and you had to stretch that game as far as you could.
Just put the buttons on the allocated spots; easy as pie!
Today, we are spoiled of sorts and all the technology is available to us on a wide array and at a lot of different prices. It makes us take some things for granted and when things breaks, we usually just throw them away. It's easier to go find a second hand SNES than to open one up and repairing it. We are blessed to have all we need at our fingertips and we need only reach out to grab it. Also, machines have become more and more complex, so fixing a Red Ring Of Death might not be as easy as welding back a piece. It increases our consumerism, to go out and buy a new Xbox 360, instead of going through an arduous task of repairing one.
Game Over or To Be Continued?
With the power of internet, the world has now become our flea market and replacing goods has never been easier. Just think of the things you can buy from Ebay, Amazon or other, local, auction sites. A quick browse will make you discover the games you need and, if you don't beware, send you right into game addiction, like yours truly. With a site like Amazon that refers you to other bought items, it's easy to lose track and start shopping away frantically. It also decreases the value we put into owning certain items. We used to be able to buy one or 2 games every few months and with some luck attend one or two flea markets a year. Now, whenever we want, we can surf and buy whatever our little heart desires. If we grow tired of a game, it's easier to give into temptation and buy a new one, instead of biting down and finishing our previous endeavor. And finishing a game more than twice has become utter madness. I finished Super Mario World so many, many times, I'm amazed my launch cartridge still works to this day. I can't say I've finished God Of War three times or more. The basic point of all this is: You don't have to throw away something that breaks. You don't have to become an engineer quite yet, but reflect for a second. Would it be worth trying to repair that DS, instead of buying a new one? Could I teach myself to fix a Red Ring Of Death and perhaps even fix it for others? If Microsoft can, why couldn't you? Just don't take the blessing of technology for granted and dig into the magic. Who knows, you might be able to accomplish something you couldn't perceive possible. And that alone is a good thing for your self-esteem, but also your own wallet!
Yesterday, after putting in weeks of professional game-time, I've finally finished Dragon Age: Origins for Xbox 360. And when I say professional game-time, I mean literally putting in a day's work through playing video games. Here's the thing: I do not own an Xbox 360, I don't have that kind of money. My brother, however, does. And when said brother is away at work, that Xbox just sits there in his room doing nothing, completely neglected. It must be a crime against humanity, as he's almost never home. He does however justify this by spending every free minute of his life either gaming or watching Animé. Sometimes even epically combining both in some sort of awesome coolness trip. Previously, while I was out browsing Gamespot for the usual old games I play, I kept coming across all sorts of references towards this game called Dragon Age: Origins. That made me recall this ranting spree my brother went on for several weeks, regarding this game called Dragon Age: Origins. At some point he asked me for my original Baldur's Gate collection. Something to do with the makers from Baldur's Gate making a new game called Dragon Age: Origins. Those factors combined made me crack at some point and decide to look into that game. Usually I try not to mess with newer games, as I can't play them anyways and so I get frustrated marveling in their glory. But since the buzz around it was so big and my brother's opinions about games are fairly correct 9 out of 10 times, I just had to go take a look. What I saw there was nothing extraordinary as all the hypes mentioned, but then again, hypes usually tend to set you up for imminent let downs. I did however see a new BioWare game and I've always enjoyed playing those frantically. More so, the whole reason I bought an Xbox, days prior to the next-gen release, was because I was playing a small bit of Jade Empire and KotoR II at a friends house. It got me hooked so badly, I couldn't think about anything else. I just had to go out and buy me those games. My addiction was so acute, I even had to go out of town to find a copy of Jade Empire there that very day. The following weeks, I spent all day and night going through just about every possible playthrough in both games. And the best part was, it didn't even get dull. That is the reason why a new BioWare game might not be the most surprising new game made, but it does deserve looking into. It's basically the same formula in a new package, but it's one hell of a winning formula. For those of you gladly battling alcohol addictions, consider it like a new beer. It's just some beer, but beer is always awesome and you'll always have some room for it. Back to my original point: After weeks of hearing from all sides how good this game was, I formed a cunning plan. As my brother has a job and I don't, there's an 8 hour window where the Xbox is used as an expensive paperweight and I could step in to save the day. And by saving the day, I mean usurp his console and basic hospitality by raiding his house while he is gone. I pitched him this idea of interim gaming and he was cool with it. The only thing I had to do was to wake up on time for him to go to work and leave me in his house. That time, however, was 5 AM! To my amazement, it is possible to wake up in time, given the proper motivation. After 26 years of getting late for just about any morning appointment I have ever had, there I stood in complete zombie mode at my brother's door. And so began my job as a professional gamer. Starting at 5 AM, I would take a 5 minute, snack break at 8 and have half an hour for lunch at 11, followed by a quick snack break around 2 PM. Like I said, I was taking this seriously; this was my job, not some silly toy! During these weeks of intense gaming, I discovered a few things. For one, gaming makes you exceedingly lazy, yet productive towards your game. You'll pool all your non-game related tasks into 1 single sweep of actions. For instance, you'll combine going to the bathroom, drinking, following up daily tasks such as mails, cooking and eating all into one and do them in less than 10 minutes if possible. Because everything you do will make the clock tick closer towards that deadline where you have to return to your mundane life, instead of rocking it in Ferelden. Secondly, this setting of professional gaming will make you plan ahead, even when not actively playing. I was, for example, planning what I could eat the next day while playing and what dish would take the least time to prepare and then consume, while still being nutritious. A trait that wasn't too healthy, I think, as I would usually eat pasta, sandwiches or reheated food, but nothing else. And usually I take time to cook some nice dinner; but not anymore! There was questing to be done and I had a Blight to stop! Also, any common courtesy you might have had, swiftly went out the door. I'd wake up barely in time to show up at my brother's (hey, it's still 5 flippin' AM!) and on bad days, I'd forget most of my food and drinks. And instead of wasting time to go fetch them, I'd just loot his fridge and cupboards. Once the game was on, there was no brother or hospitality, there was only the Grey Wardens and my nemesis the Archdemon. But the main reason I'm writing this, is because throughout my second week of gameplay, I started wondering something. That's after 40 odd hours if you're keeping count, by the way. I wondered how huge gaming companies would market games such as these to a big audience. Granted, there's a nice following of fans for any game that has references to Baldur's Gate. But I'm guessing this game has a huge budget and even if it's brought out on all platforms, it has to sell to a large amount of people to return that investment. Sure, there will be revenues also to be had in related merchandise. But that can't topple it, can it? The reason why I wondered this, is because I can't perceive Dragon Age being played by a large amount of people. I mean, even if you play professionally, like I did, for 8 hours a day, it will take you about 2 weeks to complete one playthrough. the other playthroughs might be a little faster, but will still take in a sizable amount of time. Most people don't have that much time to spend everyday on video games. Kids have to go to school, do homework and possibly have some other hobby. Adults should have a considerable larger amount of responsibilities, such as work, college, groceries, housekeeping and other hobbies. Pensioners might have a butt-load of time, but do you see them picking up Dragon Age and going all epic on you? I'd have to see it to believe it. And if you don't play for at least 4 hours a day, it would just take way too much time to ever have a chance at completing it. That might be fine to try that once, but I don't think you'll enjoy failing at games for long. In all, you won't be picking up an RPG you can't make time for. So how would a casual gamer be convinced to pick up Dragon Age or any other adventure game? It's fine if you're a hardcore gamer. You know you don't have a date on Saturday and you'll be in your dungeon hacking away at the Darkspawn, possibly taking a break to pwn n00bs on some online game. But someone with friends, hobbies and essentially a life can't really afford to stow themselves away with their console to play out some fantasy with magical creatures. If nothing more than the lack of time, you'd quickly get stigmatized as some sort of nerd. Or a brand I usually get: a no-lifer. That's right; enjoying video games means you lack the skills to go out and live your own life. Funny how that applies to only certain games and it doesn't apply to other things like films and books. Even more odd to me, as I think books and films can only direct you to one scripted ending in one track. Whereas in games, you'll have to work your way towards it and in cases like Dragon Age: Origins you'll have multiple outcomes based on your decisions during your experiences. That means that every action will affect the outcome and have different consequences based on those prior actions. Kind of like real life? Surely, sir, you must jest? No, I do not jest! Get your head out of the prejudice box that generations before you have placed gamers in! Think for yourself! Is that so hard? Video games have advanced exponentially since PONG and we have, at the very least, added a few more lines to the screen...Excuse me for the rant, it needed saying. I'll grant you the fact that if you're going to play a role-playing game, you're going to have to put some serious effort in it. And yes, that will diminish the time you'll have left for other things, if you are interested in the game enough. But is that so bad to have a heartfelt interest in something? Why is it necessary to berate gaming? I don't see society scolding people who passionately read "The Catcher In The Rye" and I'm quite sure that book takes a while to finish as well. Although, in all fairness, people might have protested it in the fifties, but certainly not to such great lengths. I'll kindly leave the whole "games make people to bad things" argument aside (for now). But the moment someone picks up an adventure game of any sort that takes place in some fantasy world and takes more than 5 hours to complete, people have the sudden notion you have no life. Because you have no interest in "normal" things. I don't recall being asked if I did have other interests though. I think that is why racing, sports and other games are so much more popular and RPG/Adventure games are shoved into the nerd corner. They're just a lot more accessible to a large crowd. No real thinking or effort is required to enjoy a good racing game. You can pick it up for 5 hours or 10 minutes, whichever works best for you. Whether you're playing a quick match against Barcelona or trying to win the championship, you can play as long as you want, blow off a little steam and then go on with your natural life. Also, there's no need to read up on a lot of background and story or adapt to anything; you know all there is to know already. You know Henri and all his mates and what they do best; just put on the game and go! It's that accessibility and recognizability that appeals to the masses. But it's also the factor that makes it acceptable to do as a pass time. You can do it, because everyone does it, that's normal. Nothing cooler than tuning cars or beating the living crap out of someone in a quick bout of Tekken. Although I largely disagree with that statement myself, I don't think role-playing games as we know them now will change that opinion. Even if you raise the recognition towards it and make everyone participate in a more modern form of RPG, you'll still need some sort of knowledge of the background before playing. More traditional stories, like in a faraway, Middle Ages setting however, will need more work to be able to include everyone. Because, even with all other factors taken care of, you'll still need to put in the hours and putting hours on games equal nerd, we've established that by now.
I, however, enjoy the frequent time I spend whisked away in Ferelden fighting for either good or bad, but mostly good. That's just the kind of person I am. I can always come back another time and do a thoroughly evil playthrough a second time around, for giggles. Usually though, I'll try to make the right decision or the one I find best at the moment. Surprisingly, in Dragon Age: Origins, that might not always be the best way to go. A nice twist I might add, it makes you think outside the box a little. Good choices aren't necessarily good and vice versa. It made me think of a mission in Grand Theft Auto where they'd lead you to doing something the mission did not call for and still have a positive outcome. That made me think people should implement that a lot more in games and have people do things their own way. It's yet another argument I have for keeping me locked in the game for a long time, because it feels lifelike and it's an epic adventure. What more could I ask for? Who wouldn't want to live out an adventure like that? And maybe that's how companies would appeal to a large audience. Focusing on how awesome your adventure will be and how it's so real, you'll think yourself there. Without mentioning the time needed to the larger audience, you'll have more people wanting to experience the trip. At least, that's how I think they could market it, because that's what it's all about: the experience. Only, that brings back one of the original problems, that is the time needed. Like mentioned, you might trick people once or twice, but if they don't put in the time, they'll stop coming back at some point. Also, you'll again revert to the stigma of a dungeon dweller, playing hours on end instead of boozing it up with mates. Or trying to pick up chicks, whilst trying not to vomit in their cleavage you're immersed in. You know, the simple things in life.
Perhaps it might fancy a few by mentioning it's worth your time investment to see it through. Seeing your efforts come to fruition and all that. Or by appealing to it's customized ending or perhaps enticing people to save the world, doing the right thing. Marvelous graphics, lots of flash; all seem plausible solutions, but can't really deadlock me into believing a casual gamer might want to pick it up. If someone has the answer to this question, I'd sure like to look into it. Until I've figured that out, I've come up with a possible solution to make role-playing games accessible and acceptable by the masses: Instead of making elaborate epic adventures, which are really compelling and use all their space in storytelling and durability, you make them short and fast. Doesn't sound like much on the first sentence, does it? Hear me out. Normally you have one set world, with many regions, creatures, etc. Instead of doing that, you save all the disc space on creating a completely random world each time. And in addition you try and randomize as much you can concerning equipment etc. Let's say you make 3 tiers that way, so more traditional players can still pick up on it. But you don't want to stretch it out too much, you want as much room for creating a unique and thrilling experience each and every time. A problem with some games is that they want to be too much of all possible options and end up being poor in all areas. Let's say 1 playthrough could be done in less than 10 hours and is filled with action constantly. Of course you'd need to keep some short cut scenes for each playthrough and preferably as many endings as you possibly can. Even if they differ in only one area or so each time. That way you're certain you have a large array of endings to keep the player coming back. If you don't focus on having realistic graphics, you could do a lot this way. One more problem you'd have to take care of is the traditional level system. In a game that takes less than 10 hours, it'd be ridiculous to have your character level 30 times or so. So I propose having a simple upgrade system you can use. Perhaps even so simple you can activate it while playing and don't need to go to a character screen, but not necessarily. It would however keep you in the action screen. The action on itself will more than probably work best in hack and slash method, but I don't see why you can't implicate as much skills and spells in there, if they're all custom to a wide array of characters anyway. Don't forget, each playthrough is completely different in area and story, so taking a different character each time won't become boring. It will feel like a completely different game each time. In short I'd make it an experience that resembles a few existing games. You'd take the random levels such as in Diablo or in much lesser extent the Disgaia series, if you're familiar with them. You'd take the unique experience of such as Gran Turismo for your character, customizing it a different way every time with loads of possible characters to choose from. A battle system that resembles that of Final fantasy 12 and action packed like a mass zombie game. Cell shaded or more cartoon-styled graphics to keep the framerate up and the disc space low. It might not work in a medieval setting, but I think games like Odin Sphere and such look amazing, even in 2D and they probably take a lot less room to create. Customized cut scenes and endings as many as you can muster; at least 300 cut scenes, each about 10 seconds or so and at the very least 30 endings. Depending on the length possibly a lot more. You don't need an ending of 5 minutes and a credit reel of 30 minutes. That can all be done quickly, if you want. Voice acting? Why not; Dragon Age: Origins seems to have a massive amount of voice overs and still has room for a giant world. Just think of what that could mean for my idea! I think the voice acting will be much more efficient to keep the action flowing, instead of having to read a boring text box. If anyone has heard of such similar games in existence, feel free to pass me a line, though I doubt it would be done in the extent I'm envisioning it, as I have such a large view on this game. It felt a bit lengthy to jot it all down though. I think these types of games would open the door for the casual gamer to gradually get cracking on an epic adventure and join us in our nerd world. It would be awesome to puke in a woman's cleavage at a bar, while you were discussing how you tried to free Morrowind from it's evil burden. Until then, this boy with a leg tattoo of Dungeons and Dragons will bid you good day.
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